Monday, February 12, 2007

dot dot dot

In the midst of some banter and jigacting with me at the weekend, Linzi uttered the discomfiting words "You'd make a hopeless rapist."

She was trying to be nice, but I'm not sure how much comfort can be drawn from such a sentiment.

33 Comments:

Conan Drumm blathered this crap:

Is it by any chance Scots slang for 'builder'?

Kav blathered this crap:

Ha! Good one, ya bollix. At least you didn't say "lover".

The Swearing Lady blathered this crap:

I don't know, Kav. You have the wax jacket for it...

eashtgalwaywoman blathered this crap:

that's the first time I have ever seen jigacting in print, or should that be bloggery. Can you use leibide in a sentence and I think I'll retreat back to being 10 years old?

Dario Sanchez blathered this crap:

It is perhaps on a par with:
'well you're not the worst looking ...'

I don't get it. Am I supposed to be flattered?

You'd think they could explain themselves better.

Kav blathered this crap:

sweary: True, but I tend to wear a mac when I -

- wait, never mind.

eashtgalwaywoman: I'm going to put heising into a sentence soon too.

dario: Heh, or "what a small penis you've got"

Small is such an arbitrary term.

Dario Sanchez blathered this crap:

'Small as in elephant small or small as in shrew small?'

It is arbitrary. And thanks for putting me among the esteemed company section in the post below. My vote for you is assured in one of the many categories you're nominated in.

The Voice of Treason blathered this crap:

My ex-girlfriend and I used to fight like cat and dog. One day, after we almost tore strips off each other, she tried on a new pair of jeans she had bought. Then she asked the question that ALL men will hear at least once in their lives:

Do these jeans make me look fat?

'No', I said, still smarting about the fight. 'It's all the chocolate and crisps you eat that make you look fat'.

Getting out of her house in one piece reminded me of going paintballing in Monaghan when I was fifteen.

whyioughtta blathered this crap:

I Googled and Wikipedia'd it, and looked it up in the Canadian Oxford, but I can't find a definition for "jigacting." I'm all outta reference tools here. So, going on context alone, I'll say I'm sure she meant it with wit and love and humour and love. And love.

Kav blathered this crap:

dario: No problem, thanks.

the voice: Oh, now that was brave. I'm surprised your posts don't come out sounding much squeakier, what with her having cut off your balls and all.

whyioughtta: Hmmm...not sure if this is just a Galway word or not. It just means lepping about like a hyperactive child, getting up to mischief.

Fat Sparrow blathered this crap:

Well, I hardly think you'll need to worry about a career as a rapist. I heard there's not much pay in it, and the benefits really aren't what they used to be, what with the government cutbacks and all.

Besides, you're like Knudsen; you get poontang thrown at you. If I were you, I'd be more worried about being the victim. Gang rape, too, from the looks of it.

Kav blathered this crap:

fs: It's like you leapt into my mind, slathered it with baby oil and massaged my thoughts out onto the screen.

Fat Sparrow blathered this crap:

Oh, that would explain the gunk on my screen. I tried to wipe it off, but it was kinda sticky.

Steph blathered this crap:

I think you need to prove her wrong.





KIDDING!!! Take it as a compliment. You must be a fine, caring lover.....or sumthin'.

Eddie Waring blathered this crap:

What you need is a really fucked up catchphrase. One that strikes fear into the heart of your victim. I like "Breathe deeply Beryl" from the film 10 Rillington Place. He's not a rapist but he is a weird fucker. Screaming "Baby want's to fuck" in a high pitched voice like Dennis Hopper in Blue Velvet works too. You could even combine the two changing voices mid sentence. I tried it on Mrs. Waring recently with limited success, but give it a go yerself and see....

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride blathered this crap:

Hell, it's just crap getting raped by someone who can't even do it right.

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride blathered this crap:

With apologies for the above to anyone who thinks they could do with them.

flutt blathered this crap:

You don't look like a rapist...but then again I'm blind.

Kav blathered this crap:

fs: Ugh...nasty.

steph: Yeah, I'm trying to find the positive in there somewhere.

eddie: Not bad, I'll give that a shot. It's probably a step up from asking if she wants a length.

sam: I know, but I was doing my best, for chrissake!

flutt: I know. Rapists are usually ugly.

heh.

Old Knudsen blathered this crap:

Rapist was the job my school career councilor came up with for me so I pulled out a knife and forced myself on him.

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What else can you do with chopsticks?

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