I found a diary on the way home this evening. Well, diary's probably too grand a title. It's more of a notebook containing a variety of personal shite.
The girl's address is on the inside.
So...do I read it? Or just return it to its rightful owner?
Update: It was shite.
Despite what you may think, I genuinely did not look at the notebook until after I had posted the above entry. Of course, I always intended to look at the book, and I feel no guilt in doing so. Listen:
The diary consists of only two entries, the first having been written shortly after her man was arrested for various offences. She doesn't elaborate on what the offences are, but her terrible grammar, spelling and general lack of comprehension of basic sentence structure indicate that she is indeed as stupid as a pigeon. This is confirmed when, upon further scrutiny, you find that she's standing by this useless piece of shit because even though he's been bad to her and the kids in the past, she knows they can work it out.
How fucking thick are some people? Delusional, self-destructive bint.
The second entry seems to have been written on the eve of the scumbag's release from Barlinnie Prison. Unlike her other entry, this time her prose flows beautifully, and her heartfelt yearning to see her devoted lover is evoked with tenderness and care, each word seeming to bring new meaning and depth to the love she and Jimmy share*.
Okay, not really. It's the same fuckin shite as the last time. Pure unadulterated cack about how she knows he's going to change, and she hopes that when he comes out he will come to visit her and the kids, because that's the first thing she'd want to do if she were getting out of jail.
There is no mention of remorse, or of the fact that Jimmy might not be the best role model for the childers. This guy has fucked her a few times, she's got two kids out of it, and beyond that, they have no relationship. She's got two kids to support, and she genuinely expects that he is going to come out of prison and be a model dad to the poor unfortunate children, and the perfect partner to her. Christ on a bike.
And what age is she anyway? She's got two kids, one of whom can talk, so she must be at least what, 18? And yet her notebook is full of "Maggie loves Jimmy" sketches and other such adolescent bollocks.
My first reaction was pure contempt at her stupidity, but this was replaced by sadness and pity as I realised that this girl has probably never had anyone to give her perspective on her life - she's never going to realise that there are possibilities she could take advantage of. She's going to plod through life getting fucked over at every opportunity, and because she's not that bright, she will never learn from her mistakes. She'll pass on her own fuckedupness to her children, and the cycle will repeat all over again...
Christ. It's too depressing for words.
I'm not even going to return the book because I would probably be stabbed. What the general public sees as a good deed, this type of person interprets as an invasion of their privacy, and they generally respond the only way they know how: with fist or blade. This might sound funny to you, but I am not joking.
*Maggie and Jimmy are, of course, pseudonyms. I don't want to be chibbed, even though they're probably too fucking stupid to know what a computer is, never mind look up a search engine. Can never be too careful though.