Monday, November 27, 2006

The eye (updated)

I love lazy Sunday mornings. Yesterday morning was, for reasons unknown, very quiet, and I fancied my chances...

I arch an eyebrow, Bond-style (yes, in my mind), and give Linzi a look that says I Am Mentally Undressing You, Be Aroused.

No joy. She's engrossed in her novel. I'm obviously being too subtle. Better make my intentions clear.

"Jaysis, I've an awful serious horn for you."

Cue the rolling eyes; it's all in the eyes.

"Kav...we had sex last night, how could you be so horny this morning?"

I am flabbergasted. Sometimes I wonder if she knows me at all.

"Wha? That doesn't make any sense. You wouldn't say 'Oh, I'm not hungry this morning, I ate yesterday', or 'I'm not tired this evening, I slept last night', would you? No, you wouldn't."

"Stop answering your own questions, I hate that."

I know exactly how to push her buttons.

"Would I stop answering my own questions? No, I wouldn't."

"Jesus Christ, you really know how to get a girl in the mood, Kav."

The monitor crackles to life.

"Waaah, waah, waaah. Waaaaaaaaah."

Oh yeah, that's right. We have kids. I was thinking it was a bit quiet around here this morning.


On a serious note, I'm attempting to use this software to back up my blog. If you give even a small crap about your blog, it might be worth backing it up. It's FREE!

I'll let you know how I get on - if all goes well, I'll recommend it.

UPDATE: That software's pretty damn easy to use. It's highly configurable, but if all you want's a straight copy of your blog copied to a local folder, it's ideal. I'd recommend it, but only if you have a decent connection. Dial-up users will be clawing their eyes out. It took me about 20 minutes on a 1Mb broadband connection to back up all my blogs. Worth it for the peace of mind.


The Swearing Lady blathered this crap:

You're an awful divil, Kav. You're a CUTE HOOR!

There's a reason I stopped at one sprog, yes there is. Still, I suppose having two is very handy for the nursing home bills and stuff in later years.

purplestew blathered this crap:

LOL - you really know how to woo a gal don't you?? ;)

Kieran blathered this crap:

You smooth dog. At least you have a daily allowance and not monthly.

When I try that eyebrow thing I always look incredulous, as though I'm casting doubt. A more subtle approach is to simply retire to the bedroom and bawl "wah wah wah" until you get what you want.

jali blathered this crap:

When you said, "arch an eyebrow" I imagined you in the back room of the Vietnamese nail shop getting a professional eyebrow wax job done so that Linzi would automatically KNOW when you're mentally undressing her based on your new and improved efforts at grooming. A little girlie, I thought, but then they're Irish so the standards must be different and who am I to judge?

How about "hands on" arousal next time - much more difficult to resist.

Good luck romantic horney guy!

Conan Drumm blathered this crap:

This novel reading is not to be recommended, no good will come of it, and the horn will wither from lack of use. Since you got the ride did you get the breakfast in bed yet for your nursing-the-sick services?

fyrchk blathered this crap:

I'm giggling imagining you arching your eyebrow. You make me laugh. And that says a lot.

Let me know how the blog back-up works!

Sassy Sundry blathered this crap:

Oh you poor thing. You even arched your eyebrow in the name of being smooth. I'm sorry it didn't work.

DrM2B blathered this crap:


:::le sigh:::

sooooooo smooth....I dont understand why she didnt jump ya right there !!

Kav blathered this crap:

Sweary: I'm anything but I'm the most transparent goballoon you're ever likely to meet. Linzi can spot my advances a mile off.

purplestew: Tis all in good fun. No harm in chancing your arm now and then. Inside I knew I was destined to fail.

kieran: I get a jitter in my eyebrow when I arch it - it quivers uncontrollably, like a sleeping dog dreaming of chasing a herd of Spaniards.

jali: My knowledge of grooming extends to getting a haircut once a month and having a shower most days, so you've lost me on that one. We'll see sure. I'll probably only ever blog about sex from a comical viewpoint, so it's unlikely you'll ever see me write about that stuff.

conan: Hah, I had forgotten about that. No, twas just a garden-variety one. She works hard enough, I wouldn't do that to her*.

fyrchk: Mission accomplished. Glad someone liked it, cos if my site meter's anything to go by today, this post is making most people click away in disgust. Heh.

sassy: Don't worry, I'll survive. The eyebrow thing is a sure-fire way to fail - unlike Sean Connery, I look like a bit of a spazzy when I attempt it.

*translation: I'd get my arse kicked up and down the stairs if I brought breakfast in bed up.

Kav blathered this crap:

drm: Well, the novel is really good...

Steph blathered this crap:

Jebus, you are one smooth talker. From here on you shall be known as 'ol silver tongue. Baahahah! No wonder you aint gettin any.
Wash the dishes. I hear that makes married women horny.

Fat Sparrow blathered this crap:

And now you see why the Spouse Sparrow has a go while I'm asleep.

At least your kids are in their own rooms. The Nestling Sparrow's in with us. That means any sex attempted is most emphatically NOT with me on top, dammit.

JagdKunst blathered this crap:

My eyebrows are permanently arched as a result of being such a pissed off and cynical child. These days I've got so much sex I can't get rid of the stuff!!

Plimco blathered this crap:

"All" your blog"s"? Are you telling me there's more than one?! You're holding out on me, dude.

Kav blathered this crap:

plimco: Perhaps, one day, I will reveal them...

Plimco blathered this crap:

You're a super hero, aren't you. I knew it! You totally have a secret identity.

It all makes sense now...

Kav blathered this crap:

Yeah, my superpower is blogging badly.

boudica of suburbia blathered this crap:

That was so depressing, my blog took precisely 1 minute to download. One minute for three feckin years?!