- A school chum convinced me he had a steel arm, just like Lindsay Wagner, the Bionic Woman.
- One lad led me to believe that he was a superintelligent being from space, and that trucks could drive over him without harming him.
- A knacker who lived across the road told me that when you see sunbeams filtering through clouds, that was a soul going up to heaven.
- Do you remember 40/40? It's like hide and seek except the game isn't over when you find the person - once you catch someone you have to run back to "base" and shout "Forty forty home!" if you're the hider, or "Forty forty I see Martin!" if you're the seeker. Anyway, there were usually about 10-12 of us playing this game, and one day, I was the seeker, so I counted to 40, then spent the next half hour looking for everyone. Turned out that they had all just fucked off up to another estate and left me hunting around gardens and such on my own. What a gullible mong.
- One of the schoolyard things that used to go around was "If your hand is bigger than your face, you have cancer." When you put your hand up to your face to check, someone would punch your hand and your nose would bleed, but not break. Good times. I fell for this a lot.
- Not so much something I used to believe, as something I didn't get: when Freddie Mercury first made AIDS fashionable, the kids used to say "Do you have AIDS?". You would respond "No" to this, at which point they would say "Are you positive?", to which (you guessed it) you would respond "Yeah". You would then be called a HIV-infected cunt and laughed at a lot. I didn't get this until I was about 15.
- Back when nobody knew what a vagina looked like, you would place your palms together, and a friend would do the same. You would then place your held-together hands at right angles to each other, and interlock your hands between index and middle fingers. Once your hands were joined like this, one of you spread your palms and looked inside, and this, apparently, is what a vagina looked like. I still believed this until last year, when I lost my virginity.
What about you? Tell me some shite you used to believe.
In other news, I have a tough exam* coming up in December, and I will need to dedicate a fair amount of my time to it over the coming weeks. You might notice a dropoff in the level of my posts and comments, but rest assured I haven't forgotten you. I just think you're a cunt and never want to speak to you again.
I'll be around, just not as much.
*if I pass it, I get a very nice qualification that will help me get more money, and money is great.