Thursday, July 06, 2006

Petulant, self-important bastards

Man, the games we have to play to keep us entertained at work.

I sit with C and K and other C - all cool guys. Our office is the type with four desks facing
into one another, so we're all looking at each other...kinda like this pic, except a bit more comfortable..and there's dozens of them. Not that this matters.

Anyway, one of the guys who sits near us, Kevin, is leaving, so he brought in a box of lollipops to say goodbye. Personally I would've preferred if he brought in a crate of beer, but lollipops will do. Anything to relieve the tedium of sitting at your desk.

Big deal, lollipops. Whoop-dee-doo.

So everyone tucks in - whenever people walk past the desk, they take one of Kevin's pops. I myself had 5 on the first day. C and K both had 4, and other C had 3. That might sound like alot, but there's feckin hundreds of them, so there's plenty to go around.

However, a certain picky, annoying, can't-mind-her-own-fuckin-business female (let's just call her Moo) decides that the lollipops need to be rationed. Don't ask me why, it's not like we're in Lost and this sweet candy is the only treat we'll ever have. And anyway, even in Lost, Hurley just shared all the candy out and everyone ate it as quickly as possible.

Whatever her reasons, Moo thinks that the lollipop supplies are depleting too quickly, so she moves them to her desk, taking it upon herself to monitor the snack levels and ensure that every individual receives an equal allocation of pops.

Fuck that. If you're not fast, my friend, you're last.

We decided this morning enough was enough. Moo went to a meeting, so we stuffed back 3 or 4 of the lollipops each, and made sure the four of us had the tell-tale white sticks in our mouths when she arrived back at her desk. Of course, she noticed that there were about 20 lollipops missing, and she clearly saw all of us sitting with lollipop sticks jutting out of our mouths.

She said nothing, just sat there, deflated, her empire in ruins.

We consider this to be a major victory for us. The petty trivialities and oneupmanship of office life are so much more entertaining than any of the other stuff.

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